


Sign Here Part VI

by IAmANonnieMouse



Series: Sign Here [6]
Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Crack, M/M, More devil fic you guys, but arthur's still disappointed in him, eames means well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 03:01:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12356088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmANonnieMouse/pseuds/IAmANonnieMouse
Summary: "Eames," Arthur hisses from where he is looming over the bed. "Why did you have to kill my tailor?"





	Sign Here Part VI

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pigfarts23](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pigfarts23/gifts), [booskerdu (pureimaginatrix)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pureimaginatrix/gifts).



> _Eames should kill the tailor_  
>  ~[Pigfarts23](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pigfarts23/pseuds/Pigfarts23)
> 
> _he better make sure his tailor ends up in Hell instead of The Good Place :-D_  
>  ~[Booskerdu (pureimaginatrix)](http://archiveofourown.org/users/pureimaginatrix/pseuds/booskerdu)

It isn't that hard, in the end. Arthur's tailor is a man of habit who eats the same meal for breakfast every day and always takes the same amount of time to walk from his house to work. 

Eames learns everything he needs to know within the week.

From there, all that's left for him to do is plan. And that's nothing, considering the mark is an aged, widowed tailor and not some multi-billion-dollar CEO with forty guards and five different locks on the door.

It strikes Eames at one point that he should feel bad for plotting the murder of an innocent man, but really, it's all for a good cause. Arthur gets rather…snarly when forced to wear poorly-fitted clothes for too long, and the Devil already seems overwhelmed. Eames can't, in good conscience, leave the poor thing defenseless against Arthur's selective tastes in fashion.

Obviously.

Eames decides to strike on a balmy fall evening. There's a football game on, and Arthur's tailor has the habit of drinking a few beers too many and passing out on his recliner. Eames waits—the man's team loses, which is really a shame, considering—then slips in the balcony window without even having to pick the lock. Minutes later, he's slipping out again, and he's back in his apartment within the hour without anyone the wiser.

He falls asleep smiling that night, thinking of how pleased Arthur will be when he finds out.

~+~+~

Arthur is not pleased. Arthur is, in fact, downright furious.

"Eames," Arthur hisses from where he is looming over the bed. "Why did you have to kill my tailor?"

Eames blinks and rubs the sleep from his eyes. "Good morning, darling. How have you been?"

"Worse, ever since I heard about Geoffrey," Arthur says. 

"What, did I not do it right?" Eames asks. "I suffocated him in case scars or injuries carry over to the underworld, you know? Can't be your tailor if he's missing some fingers."

"Can't be my tailor if his poor, innocent, _martyred_ soul went straight to heaven," Arthur responds.

Eames hesitates. "I didn't think of that," he admits.

Arthur glares at him. "No shit."

Eames casts around for something to say. "Well…" He picks at the coverlet. "It's the thought that counts?"

Arthur frowns. "I am stuck in hideous, untailored clothes for _all eternity,_ Eames."

"Well, when you put it that way," Eames starts.

Arthur ignores him. "This is why you're supposed to talk to me before you do reckless things. I made that rule for a reason."

"I may have forgotten about that rule," Eames admits. He also didn't think this was reckless, but how was he supposed to know the rules about souls going to heaven or hell?

Arthur rubs his forehead. "Just…don't do anything else for a while, okay? I need to handle this."

"What is there to handle? The man's in heaven."

Arthur looks at him. "The Devil doesn't love the idea of you running around killing people for me."

"Ah," Eames says.

"Ah," Arthur echoes. "So please refrain from any violent acts in the next few weeks. I need to convince the Devil that this was a one-time thing."

"Definitely one-time," Eames says. "Absolutely. I'm never killing tailors ever again."

Arthur rolls his eyes. "Good." He picks up his scythe and sulkily adjusts his loose clothes. "I'll talk to you later," he says, and vanishes.

**Author's Note:**

> I am on [Tumblr!](http://iamanonniemouse.tumblr.com/)
> 
> And again, this series is completely, entirely driven by the ideas you all leave me in comments, so if there's something you want to see happen, drop a comment, and I'll add it to my word doc master list :D


End file.
